Mood: cool
Now Playing: Lady GaGa, Linkin Park..
Right, so it's Valentines day....I really HATE this freakin day. It's sucked since like, the fourth grade when people stopped being obliged to give you valentines. I miss those days, because then you were at least GUARENTEED a valentine. Now its all "Buy a rose for your sweetie" at my school, and guess who never gets one??? MAH.
But the good news is I got accepted into University yesterday! Hooray! My future is slowly being planned out for me..but until then I have to endure being in Advanced Math With Calculus at school. Bloody fuck, its beyond me why this shit was even invented in the first place. I'm only taking because at my university, to get into ANY type of science program(including biology, which is what I want) you need it. As if you use fucking calculus and sequences and crap when you're a surgeon or doctor or something....
*sigh* I had the freakiest dream last night about this guy I've liked since I moved back home, like three years ago. Well actually, there's kinda a story behind this guy. He is actually the ONLY person I've ever gone out with, and that was, sadly, in like grade 4 and 5. BUT! Anyways I've never really forgotten about him, but I didn't really like him(obviously, I lived in the other side of the country) untill we moved back here, where he is, and I saw him again on a regular basis. He's such a great guy, but honestly I don't know how to get him. He's always been nice to me whenever we talk(which is NOT frequent enough, due to me being boring and not having the guts to go up and talk to him myself) and asks questions...I really wish I could grab him for myself. Unfortunately, he's ridiculously popular and cute, so he's perpetually surrounded by girls and friends. Yeah...anyways, my dream last night....I for some reason had changed my first period class and he was in it, and when he walked into the room I heard him say "What is SHE doing here?" and then he was standing right behind me in the crowd(for some reason the entire class was standing in the same corner of the room) and he leaned down and whispered in my ear "Why, of all people, are YOU in this class?" and then I woke up. MAN, it was so weird.
I keep trying to talk myself into walking up to him and doing something dramatic, like kiss him, or even just telling him I like him, but its not going well. I'll have the entire senario in my head, and then I'll go to school, see him, and totally lose any desire to tell him ANYTHING. I'm such a chicken shit! But I can't help it. I have basically zero confidence, due to the complete LACK of male attention. Jesus, I mean, at my rate, would anyone be surprised if I thought I was completely hideous?? *GRR*
Okay, I'm good. I just wish my life(espcially in the male department) went a little smoother. I wish that liking a guy was as easy for me as it is the other, prettier, more confident girls.
Geez, I'm totally depressing. I need to read a Cosmo or something :3
Queenie